~time traveler~

today i wish i could time travel. i would leave today and go back one year EXACTLY! this week has been so surreal and emotional. i can't help but think if this week a year ago, as ej's story of entering this world played out. i would love to go back in time for a few days.... maybe for two weeks. i would love to experience everything all over again. well, maybe not the pain part. i would love to go back and smell the smells and feel the emotions again. i would love to have my family here with me.... the were all AMAZING! they were so supportive and 100% devoted to nate, ej, and i. i could not have done it without all of them. andrea and lindsie got more than they were bargaining for i think and i can't thank them enough. they weren't planing on leaving for cleveland until the following day but when i was admitted, they were on a plane a few hours later. since i was going in for an "hour check-up" at the hospital and didn't end up leaving for 5 days, there was A LOT of things left undone at home. i had not grocery shopped in FOREVER, my bags were not packed, ej's room was a disaster, they definitely had there work cut out for them. on top of that they each had a leg in the delivery room! Suzy came and the work she did around the house was amazing. i'd wake up each morning with a scrubbed bathroom, laundry done, kitchen scrubbed. she was here at the 5 day mark when i had major meltdowns- i was convinced i would NEVER be able to sit again. i was having issues with feeling so far away from everything and everyone.... all the family, friends, etc... nursing was ripping things off that were suppose to be attached (tmi? sorry). Kailey was the next in line to come out and she helped as well. she was locked up in our house for many days. i didn't know one day from the next as my schedule had changed. i remember one day she looked at me and said " can i go get anything at the grocery store? i just need to get out of the house." My mom was the next to come! she waited patiently for everyone else to come out first so i'd have help for a longer amount of time. Dad was supposed to come but got sick and didn't want to pass anything to ej. she was (is) so great. she helped so much. i just remembering being able to sleep a lot. she would wake me up at 3 hours to feed ej and then i'd go back to sleep and she'd continue with ej. most new moms don't get to say "i slept a lot" but she made it possible for me. i had always pictured me and nate with our new little baby and having my mom and family helping me. it was so amazing. it wasn't 'picture perfect"... that would involve me delivering at home in utah but it was perfect for our little family for where we were at in our lives.

time traveling would be great but i think i would miss the ej i know and love today. i love the bond we have with her and we definitely know her better today then a year ago. i'd miss her TONS! if i were traveling in the past i would leave in about an hour to go get checked at the hospital. WOW! we even get to spend the ENTIRE day with nate- just like last year on her birth day. we are looking forward to that because it has been crazy at school and we haven't seen him much. monday night was an all-nighter followed by a full day of school, returning home at 8:30pm.

we are very excited for a fun day tomorrow. i guess i will stay here, not venture to the past. i think i would miss out on way too much.

life is amazing and tomorrow i will have A ONE YEAR OLD!

p.s. i don't know why in the world i am watching baby story as i write this..... can you hear the tears as i type. just picture it.

maybe.a.little.ridiculous.

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"Happy birthday to you. happy birthday to you. happy birthday dear ej. happy birthday to you"

while we were home we took the chance to celebrate ej's FIRST birthday with some family & friends! she certainly did NOT mind the 3 week-early party and that first taste of birthday cake. it was a GREAT night. Cade's birthday was the very next day so he and ej shared a party. he was pretty excited when he saw what we made for the party... so was i~ excited that they turned out :) we made these yummy soda-fountain brownies- half pink for ej and half yellow for cade. they really were super cute.

it started like this....

and slowly became more messy....

she did stop to share with her momma...

and then it ended about like this.....

first cabbage patch doll- her name is Annie. short for Antionette Jannette as her adoption papers stated her name. might be a little much for ej to pronounce, thus "Annie"

first baby doll with all the necessities... diaper bag, stroller, baby food, baby bottle, baby wipes, a teddy bear.... when se first opened the present she gave they baby a kiss, through the box- pretty sweet little girl.and how do they know that the bottle goes in the baby's mouth? monkey-see-monkey-do! andi helped ej name her. this is Belle~